How to Tell Your Family and Friends You're Eloping
Photography by Unspoken Photography.
So you’ve decided to elope. Heck yes!! Whether you're planning a mountaintop ceremony, a courthouse "I do," or a seaside vow exchange, I’m super excited for you! And now comes the slightly nerve-wracking part: telling your loved ones you're skipping the traditional wedding.
Maybe you already know your people will be totally supportive! Or maybe you’re dreading the possible gasp when they find out there won’t be a big white wedding. Either way, you're probably wondering: What’s the best way to share the news?
Let’s break it down. (And stick around ‘til the end for some super handy templates to help you write your own announcement letter with confidence and love!)
First Things First: Your Elopement = Your Rules
Every family is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sharing your plans. You know your people best, so trust your gut. Whether you shout it from the rooftops or keep it under wraps ‘til after the big day, it’s up to you.
At the end of the day, your marriage is about you and your partner. Keeping your joy front and center is what matters most.
So… When Should You Tell Them?
There’s no "right" time. It really depends on your vibe and your personal relationships. Here are some options:
Tell them before: If you want to celebrate with some of your friends or family, giving them a heads-up is probably best for you! It can help them feel included, even if they won’t be present.
Tell them after: If you’re anticipating pushback, unsolicited advice, or an inbox full of Pinterest boards, it’s totally okay to wait until after you’ve tied the knot. Surprise! You’re married!
Invite a few people: Elopements can include a small circle. If you’re inviting a handful of close friends or family, a sweet and simple invite still makes sense. There’s no need for fancy wedding stationery… unless you want it!
Whatever route you take, just make sure it feels right for you.
Think You’ll Have Disappointed Loved Ones?
Maybe your mom always dreamed of helping you plan a big wedding, or grandma was looking forward to seeing you walk down the aisle in the family veil. It’s okay if they feel a little sad. Here’s the thing: You don’t owe anyone a wedding.
Acknowledge their feelings while still standing firm in your choice. When you share your news, do it with joy and confidence, not an apology. You’re getting married your way, and that’s something to celebrate! We’re on your team, cheering with you!
How to Keep the Peace (and the Love)
Make sure the people closest to you know first. Don’t let anyone who ‘matters’ find out about the elopement from a random ‘congratulations’ comment on Facebook. If you're worried that eloping will exclude important people, consider finding ways to include them without compromising the intimate feel you’re going for. Here are a few ideas:
Host a celebration after the elopement (like a casual backyard party or dinner).
Send out announcement cards with photos from the big day.
Ask friends or family to write letters you can read during your ceremony.
FaceTime someone right after you say “I do” for a virtual hug.
For more ideas, check out our blog: How to Include Your Loved Ones in Your Elopement (Without Losing the Intimacy!)
Need Help Breaking the News?
If your family and friends aren’t familiar with modern elopements, they might have some questions. You can make the time and mental space to be there to walk them through it …or just send them to my blog, 6 Common Misconceptions About Elopements. Let it do the heavy lifting!
Whether you're telling loved ones after your magical elopement day or giving them a heads-up beforehand, announcing your elopement doesn’t have to be stressful. Below are two easy-to-follow formats to help you craft the perfect message: one for a long-form letter and one for a short, postcard-style announcement. You can customize the vibe, tone, and wording to match your style. Just promise us one thing: don’t apologize for your joy!
Photography by Unspoken Photography.
FOR A LETTER:
Perfect for an e-mail, printed letters, or a message you tuck into a card with some photos.
1. Start with a POSITIVE headline
Make it cute, fun, and unapologetically you!
Examples:
WE ELOPED!
We got hitched in the hills!
Love took the lead
We ran away together (and it was perfect)
WE GOT LOST… in each other (great with a forest photo!)
Tip: Avoid guilty or apologetic language like “we’re sorry to tell you” or “we know this might disappoint you.” Your wedding is a celebration, not a confession!
2. Share the Basics
If you want to, include:
When you eloped (or will elope)
Where it happened (or will happen)
A photo or two to set the scene!
If you’re keeping things private, no pressure to share details.
3. Share the Why
This is your moment to let people in on the joy behind your decision. Was it the stress of big weddings? Your love of adventure? A desire for something deeply intimate? Help them see your vision. Maybe they’ve never thought about a mountaintop ceremony at sunrise or exchanging vows by a waterfall with just the sound of nature around you.
If the elopement already happened, share a special moment or a feeling from the day that captures why it was so meaningful to you.
4. Define What “Eloping” Means to You
Elopements mean different things to different people. Maybe Grandma still thinks it means running off to Vegas in secret. Gently explain that your elopement was thoughtful, planned, and exactly what you wanted. Bust the myth that it was rushed, pressured, or “less than” a traditional wedding.
5. Compassionately Set Boundaries (With Love)
This is your marriage, and you get to choose how it begins. You can say something like:
“We know this might not be what some expected, and we understand that. For us, this felt just right. And we hope you can share in our happiness as we start this new chapter.”
AND, if you’re planning to include loved ones in other ways, like a post-elopement celebration or slideshow party), let them know here!
6. End on a Positive Note
Wrap it up with a big ol’ thank you. Remind your friends and family how much they mean to you and how excited you are to share this news. Then, leave them with something to smile about: photos, a link to your elopement gallery, or even a song that played during your vows!
Photography by Unspoken Photography.
FOR A SHORT ANNOUNCEMENT
Great for postcards, fridge-worthy keepsakes, or a sweet printed note with your favorite photos!
Design tip: Pair this with a beautiful or fun photo, and keep the wording short and sweet. You can DIY it in Canva or Paperless Post, order prints through Artifact Uprising, Vistaprint, or even use Etsy templates!
1. Positive, Fun Headline
WE ELOPED!
Just Married in the Mountains
Tied the Knot by the Sea
Officially Hitched, and it was Perfect!
2. When & Where (optional but cute!)
[our names] exchanged vows on [date] in [location]
3. Short, Joyful Message
We chose to celebrate our love with an intimate ceremony, just the two of us (and maybe a few trees and birds).
It was calm, beautiful, and everything we dreamed of.
4. About Them
Thanks for all your love and support. Can’t wait to celebrate with you soon!
We’re so excited to share this new chapter with you.
5. Optional: RSVP or Event Mention
Join us for a celebration BBQ on [date]!
Keep an eye out for our wedding photos! We’ll be sharing them soon!
And if writing this letter is causing you stress, I've written one for you! Please feel free to use it, customize it, omit what doesn't pertain to you, add to it… whatever the heck you want!
Photography by Unspoken Photography.
LETTER-STYLE ELOPEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT TEMPLATE
Subject: We Eloped!
Hi [Name / Family / Friends],
We have some exciting news to share… We eloped!
Just the two of us (and maybe a few birds, trees, or mountaintops), exchanging vows in a way that felt 100% us.
We tied the knot on [insert date] in [insert location], surrounded by nature, love, and the kind of peaceful magic that made the moment unforgettable.
You might be wondering why we chose to elope. For us, it came down to wanting something deeply intimate, meaningful, and stress-free. We craved a day centered on just us—no distractions, no timelines, just love. It was simple, intentional, and full of joy.
We know elopement can mean different things to different people. To us, it wasn’t a quick decision or a last-minute adventure. It was a thoughtfully planned, deeply personal way to start our marriage.
We understand that this may not be what everyone envisioned, and it’s okay if there are mixed feelings. But this path felt right for us, and we hope you can share in our happiness as we begin this new chapter together.
We’re so grateful for your love and support, and we’re excited to celebrate with you in other ways soon!
[Optional: We're planning a casual get-together / slideshow night / celebration party on [date]—we’d love to see you there!]
In the meantime, we’ve included a few photos from the day that mean the world to us. [Or: keep an eye out for more coming soon!]
With all our love,
[Your Names]
SHORT POSTCARD-STYLE ELOPEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT TEMPLATE
Front (with photo):
WE ELOPED!
[Your names] | [Date] | [Location]
Back / Text:
We tied the knot in an intimate ceremony that was everything we dreamed of: just the two of us and a whole lot of love.
Thank you for all your love and support. We can’t wait to share this new chapter with you!
[Optional: Join us for a celebration on [date] – more details coming soon!]
[Optional: Stay tuned for photos—we’ll be sharing our gallery soon!]
Love,
[Your Names]
However you decide to share your news, do it with love, a sprinkle of confidence, and a whole lot of excitement. You’re about to start an amazing new chapter.
And don’t forget, just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you’re doing it solo! When you book with Sea to Sky Elopements, we’re here to make your dream day happen. We’ll handle the details so you can stay present, soak up every second, and focus on what really matters: the two of you. Let’s make something unforgettable!
